First Post

Well, hiyah's my first real post, then. Today, I mostly just looked around in the old "Cemetary" (that's how it's spelt on the gate at the front). I beat up some zmobies, you know how it is. I was looking for some empty skulls, since my Chef-in-the-Box blew up in my face while I was mixing up chow meins for my clan. I had already blown 60k getting ingredients for the food and machine just last night, so I was quite disappointed that it blew up so quickly, especially since my clan doesn't seem to be taking much notice of what I'm posting on our noticeboard (namely, requests for all sorts of things for mutual and clan benefit). I found a skull, pretty quickly, too, and managed to stick it to an disembodied brain from the old abandoned Tower near the Cemetary. I still haven't gotten a Chef's Hat for it to wear (the skull-with-brain doesn't think like a cook unless it's wearing a chef's hat. Typical of machinery in Loathing).
Anywho, after I had done that, I assembled some pieces of plant into ten-leaf clovers (fifteen, to be precise) for good luck, then went to crawl around in the Sewer in Town. If you have a clover, the gnomes down there let you take pretty much whatever you want, since, living in a sewer, I don't imagine they get a lot of luck. The trick is to trade the clover for a worthless trinket, spices, and any other item. Then you can go and trade the trinket with that old crazy guy out in the mountains for another ten-leaf clover. Since spices go for about seven- or eight-hundred, it's a pretty simple get-rich-quick scheme I devised. You can get 80,000-150,000 per day, if you play your cards right.
After I was done with that, I thought I would stroll around the town to air off my stinky-ass clothes, since the hermit didn't have any clovers today (I had already checked). I walked around a bit, then decided I would search through the ruins of Uncle P's Antiques, since that was always good for a lark. Of course, anything of value had been looted almost immediately after it was demolished in that stampede, but there was still a few odds and ends. So there I was, wearing star pants that were covered in shit, carrying a giant fork also covered in shit, searching through the rubble of an old mafia hideout, when I found this computer that I'm typing on right now. "Score!" I thought, so I stuck it in my backpack and took it home. I left it there while I went to the Clan Hall to do a bit of working out in the gym. Buffing up on the weights when it occurs to me: publish a weblog. It would be great publicity for the Kingdom, since it doesn't have a very high population, and not much of a tourist trade. I think the highest population ever reached was around 500,000 and there's not much of a tourist trade. So I dash home, knackered from the workout, bump into a few fellow clan members on the way home (they were nice enough to give me some of the ingredients I asked for on previously mentioned noticeboard), and put my computer on top of my phone, to make it work with the internet. I went to this blog-y-spot thing, and, here I am. Hoorah!

Introduction

Hello, all, my name is Simon Way. I'm a fulltime adventurer from a small country called Loathing, and I found this computer and thought I would recount my experiences in a weblog for all to read. So, here it is.