Whoa, dude, I am so sporadic right now. Hehe.

In case you don't get it, the title is meant to be taken in a slightly slurred, hoarse voice, id est, like someone high on cannabis. Funny, eh?
But yeah, welcome to Sporadicburg, population: me, you, and that guy in his underwear holding a knife behind you. But that's not what the post is about, despite what the title may have you believe. Damn that title, he's always making trouble.

Yeah, I know I said I would battle the Sorceress soon. A couple of times now. Well, I did battle her a couple of times. Problem is, I just can't seem to hit her. A'stabbin' her with a Wand of Nagamar doesn't work (I was told to take it by that crackpot in Seaside Town), so I throw my spells at her, but something always seems to get in the way of them. gherkinicity, my pet ghost pickle on a stick, is a big help, but he's not too bright, and he only ever follows my lead, not my commands; that is to say, he'll only attack her if I actually hit her. On the numerous occasions I miss, he just stands there. Floats, I mean. Which is bad, because then I yell at him, and as I'm yelling, I'm staring at him, and the sight of an impaled undead pickle freaks me out more and more as I go. Which puts me off. Which makes it harder to hit the NS. Which causes Big G to do nothing. Which unnerves me. You understand, I'm sure. And if you don't you've obviously never seen something as goddamn creepy as a ghost pickle on a stick. But yeah. I try when I have time. I got a Pilates tape a fortnight ago, so I'm spending a lot of my meditating time Pilate-ing, rather than stabbing yetis for fun and profit. Therein lies the cause of my infrequentness.

That, and I'm a lazy little bitch.

I ain't nothing but a boozehound

I have a problem. A salty dog problem. I just cannae stop drinking the things. Lately, it's gotten out of control. I've been binging all night and sleeping all day. My house became a mess. My friends were worried. They staged an intervention. Brought in a counsellor guy named Ted, and a few people who used to be addicted to Goofballs. We worked through my problem. I no longer rely on sweet, sweet booze to ease the terrible, unending pain. I just live with it. God I need a beer.

Yeah, I've been a bit of a slob, which is why there's no recent updates. Now that I'm better, stuff will be more frequent. And I'll try to beat that Sorceress bitch sometime in the next couple of weeks. Promise. Again. Honest.

One Tough Bitch. It's not just me. Seriously

So...beating that Naughty Sorceress may take a little longer than expected. I went up there twice the other day. The first time, I killed that beeyatch, but then she came back to life, as some sort of tentacle monster. Came back to life. That's right. How come I don't get to do that when something beats me up? So I ran off to grab a snooze, so I could come back, beat up the octopuscloud later. But when I get back the Sorceress has regenerated to her original sexay form. Yes regenerated. To sexayness. Not that I have a problem with sexay, but she does want to kill me and all, and does have a bunch of monsters in her thrall which she is using to terrorise the land. So it's annoying when she regenemarates. So I try again. She whups my ass like it's some sort of machine made for being whupped. She's tough, man. It's got nothing to do with how strong I am - seriously, dude. Honest.